Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
