I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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