My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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