I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
be right there i have to get my cape
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
