Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
