just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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