sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
