Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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