I'm gonna have a badass scar
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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