Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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