oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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