Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i need some magic done to my vagina
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
