I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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