its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
