They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
