I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this boner is exhausting
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
