So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My vagina is officially offended.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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