i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
