Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
