even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
