I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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