These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Terrible idea I love it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
