I think I died a long time ago.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
