He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
