no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
