There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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