if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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