two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
