I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
