I heard we made out
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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