You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
