AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My pussy is not your playground.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
