And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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