I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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