Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
