I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The uberlube is also flammable
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm sobbing to NWA
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
