My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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