I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
