The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
