Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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