I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
