Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
