Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
