I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
