she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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