My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
