Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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