I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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