Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
