And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
