She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I need a burrito and a hug.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
