She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
