he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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