I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
